The Bolts arrived in Tottington riding high in the league and in the midst of a great run of results. This was a stark contrast to Totties form and position, on paper this could only go one way.
The loss of some 4th team greats (Tankard, Norse, Griffiths, Southern) and also some 4th team regular, but not so greats, (Barrett) tested the Gaffers squad but he wasn't found wanting. Ed Jacobson and the fantastically named "Boomy" made their (seasonal) debuts, Jimmy Freeborn returned from International duty and Jeff Taylor made a long awaited return to the fold. Confidence was high.
The glorious sunshine and decent pitch looked perfect for the 4ths Brazilian flair-based style but the truth proved less romantic. Credit to Tottington, they started the game intent on playing a short passing game, even knocking it about at the back but, as anyone who has seen Ollie Pimblett play will testify, defenders are defenders for a reason. Thus, most of Bolts early attacks came from mistakes from the Totties back line and their badly placed passes. Unfortunately, whilst Juan Sebastian Freeborns recent South America trip is proof that he has little problem scoring in brothels, the old adage was very much applicable today. Twice in the first 20 minutes, the long haired ginger assassin was sent racing clear with only the keeper to beat but neither time did he look like troubling the scorers. His first attempt was saved impressively by the Tottie Keeper (rumours still persist that he was a ringer from the 1st team) and his 2nd, after a clinical first touch which took him from the penalty spot to the corner flag, was met with laughter from both sides. 10 minutes later, when the ball was eventually retrieved, we were back underway.......
The game was low on effort and low on quality with neither side really getting the ascendancy but with 15 minutes gone there was a break through. The Tottington midfield picked up the ball and started to move forward. The ball was played to the right mid 30 yards from goal. At first there appeared to be little danger but a quick look goal ward showed Dave Sandbrook smoking a fag, enjoying the sunshine and leaning against his right hand post - by the time he took a cheeky last drag, put his gloves back on and headed back to the centre of his goal the damage had been done. 1-0.
The game had quickly descended in long hopeful punts from both sides but Pimblett and, in particular, Taylor was imperial in the air. The same must be said for the opposing centre halves who looked vulnerable to the pace and skill the 4ths possess but all too often dealt easily with the high balls they instead produced. Jacobson was a handful with the ball at his feet but all too often he was left wanting for quality service.
25 minutes gone and more bad news - a spell of better passing from Tottington produced another chance and another goal. In honesty, it was difficult to argue they didn't deserve it. It was looking like a long afternoon for the Bolts. Boomy and Hulk Horan were battling hard but were being let down by disappointing performances from Brookes and Kilburn. Davies and Turner were being pinned down as poor Bolts ball retention rarely gave them chance to do what they do best and bomb on. Only a reflex save from Sandbrook, worthy of Banks himself, kept the Bolts in the game at all
The boys needed a boost; some luck or some class to spark a revival. They got it. A free kick on the half way line seemed unlikely to yield much joy against the aerial power that the opposition possessed but Pimblett found the sweet spot on the ball and floated it delightfully over the static backline to the edge of the penalty area. Marco Van Kilburn ran from deep and, as the ball came over his shoulder, he powered it past the unmoved keeper. 2 - 1 and surely the end of any future mention of Brookes "wonder goal" of last week, no comparison.
The sun proved too much for Boomy who invented a Barrett-esque "muscle injury" and made way for our silver haired leader. With Brookes comfortable again next to his regular wing-man the little magician began to wave his wand of a right peg and influence the game but half-time came with bolts still behind. The Gaffer was fuming and rightly so. The usual half-time jokes were replaced with genuine tactical discussion and motivational buzz words. At this point I'd like to write about the effect of his words, the sudden change in the game, Bolts supremacy............55 minutes gone..........3-1 after Ollie got a little too motivated and wiped out their forward in the box. Bolts claims of "He's got white boots, he deserved it" left the ref unmoved.
The Bolts looked shell-shocked but we needn't have worried. We had all overlooked the power of the away kit. Many have mocked the “myth” of the 4th team red shirt but spectators on this sunny afternoon are now believers. Whilst the shackles were now let loose as Bolts stormed forward at every opportunity, the performance never got out of 2nd gear. Luckily, 2nd gear was plenty as Tottington were destroyed from within. As the opposition fought amongst themselves (while still winning!!!), Bolts were gifted chances and goals. Literally for the 2nd goal as the, so far, solid Tottington centre half inexplicably diverted a good ball in from the right into his own net under no pressure. Moments later and another ball over the top, which we'd been trying all afternoon, looked fruitless again as the keeper came to gather but his eye is caught by one of the multitude of scouts from Premier league clubs there to battle for his signature; he dropped it into the path of the returning Sam "fell over and broke my arm" Pepper who rolled it into the empty net. There is a bottle-neck in the car park as the scouts scramble away.
It all proved too much for Tottington as they descended further and further into disarray. The team spirit which has become the foundation of Milne’s charges was sadly lacking in the home teams arsenal. Chances came regularly with Bolts doing their best to re-raise the keeper’s spirits by missing numerous clear opportunities. Finally, the inevitable came. Kilburn latched on to a lovely through ball and squared it to the unmarked Freeborn, as the rest of the team lined up for the impending goal kick he calmly slots it past the keeper to finally etch his name on the score sheet.
If this was a pleasant surprise, what happened next must go down as the latest "wonder of the world". Si Turner (I'll just confirm as what comes next is near fantasy) SI TURNER picks the ball up half way inside their half. He heads to the edge of their box before unleashing a left foot piledriver which rifled into the far corner. 5-3 and game over with only minutes remaining. Still time, however, for arguably the best piece of football in the game. Turner, Horan and Kilburn passed neat triangles round the now shambolic Tottington midfield, and defence, to cries of "they're going nowhere". A great run by Horan down the line sucked in all the defenders as he laid the ball off to Killer who beat his man, hit the deck and celebrated the award of the penalty in typically understated fashion. Kilburn, being the ultimate team player, gifted the glory to Brookes who duly delivered the final nail in a distinctly underwhelming coffin.
The score-line masks what, in truth, was an awful performance; disjointed, lacklustre and low quality. Freeborns’ seven one on ones yielded one goal, Kilburn was virtually anonymous (though the report may suggest otherwise!!), Brookes was well below his usual high standards and Wes Davies showed little of the fancy feet we've enjoyed all season. Credit to Jacobson for a solid debut in testing conditions, Jeff "The Rock" Taylor was dominant all game, Sandbrook woke up after his fag and kept us alive and the ever busy Hulk Horan was a constant thorn in Tottingtons side. For everyone else: probably one to forget.